ode to my husband

Most marriage advice columns speak about how laughter is the key to a happy marriage.  I married a clown, that makes me laugh at the most inappropriate times, and when I least expect it, with comments that make me double up with laughter…  The following are just a few of the things that Jason has said in ONLY THE LAST 2 WEEKS!  My husband is not only the owner of that key to happiness, but he is the building manager and has a keychain full of them!

Every night I fall asleep and make a mental note of the things that he has said, only to forget them the next day, so I decided to put the few things that I remember down in writing – in an ode to my husband.

My husband on women:

“women on their periods should sleep in a different room”
“A woman’s place is in the kitchen, pregnant and barefoot”

My husband the economist:

“Ok, this is the deal, from now on every day you earn 2 minutes of massage time.  You can cash it in every day, or you can cash them in at the end of a week, after each week you lose any minutes accumulated.  You can  credit me, but if you credit more than 4 minutes, I will charge you interest”

“If I was a rich man, I would stay all day at home in my underwear watching my shows and go out only to play tennis”

My husband on trust:

“Don’t worry Sjona, I won’t do it, we are building trust, builllldiiing trust” (and then he proceeds to steal my coffee, push me off the bed, tickle me, or whatever else I am supposed to be “trusting” him about.)

“You just broke the circle of trust”

My husband on responsibility:

“I am a man of habit, you have to remind me at least 20 times before I start putting the coffee spoon on the saucer”

“It is all about the division of labor, you are better at paying bills, talking to people, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning – I am better at reading the news and keeping you informed about the world.

My husband on compliments:

“you should take my farts as compliments, they mean that I feel so comfortable around you that I can truly be myself”

My husband on sleep:

“sleep is under-rated”

“waking up in the morning is over-rated”

“Sjonaaaa please baby pleasseeeeee make me cafecito…you know how I am in the mornings, I cannot do anything without my cafecito… please baby pleasssseeeeee”

Advertisements